An eminent team of politicians, economists and a variety of other bullshit artists have discovered a potent new drug which they have been spreading freely via the madia. Hopium works in exactly the same way as crack cocaine but its potency far surpasses that of its chemical equivalent. Both stimulate key centers within the brain and cause extremely heightened states of euphoria and unrealistic expectations. While Crack may produce mere physical addiction, Hopium produces total psychological dependence.
Hopium was developed by exploiting a well-known psychological phenomenon in which so-called intelligent beings readily abandon common sense in favor of delusion when directed to do so by a piece of paper or an image on a screen. The researchers discovered that the effectiveness of the drug is enhanced when it is spread by politicians.
The main ingredient of the drug is an Illusonicule. An Illusonicule is the smallest constituent unit of wishful thinking. Illusonicules generally aggregate together under virtual stress conditions to form a mature illusory substance called hope.
Scientists are not quite sure exactly how this transformation takes place but they have observed a similar phenomenon in which a derivative of Illusonicules called Deceptionicules aggregate to form a delusionary substance called pray. Researchers have not bothered to transform pray into a drug since this has been spread in its generic form by men in robes for centuries.
This may explain why hope and pray are often used together and sometimes interchangeably.
Hopium was designed to be used in cases of national despair such as war or prolonged economic crisis but it is regularly used in what the medical fraternity refer to as “shotgun therapy” for a variety of policy failures, corruption or stupidity.
Hopium is administered in abnormally large doses in the months preceding an election.
The use of Hopium is considered extremely dangerous when administered to certain population groups. It should therefore never be administered to the intellectually deficient, the poor, the gullible, gays or inhabitants of the third world.
There are many known adverse effects to Hopium; cerebral constipation and cogniosclerosis being the most common. Hopium is known to create psycho-illusory states in which perfectly normal people believe political promises such as “truth”, “change”, “peace” and “sustainability”.
Other side effects include desire for revolt and suicide.
Overuse of Hopium since its release has led to growing resistance. Scientists are therefore scrambling to develop substitutes or new varieties. A promising drug called Islam is currently being tested on western populations by Middle Eastern practitioners. Islam has exactly the same effect as Hopium which has led some experts believe that Islam is just another (stronger) derivative of Hopium.
Little is known about the potential side effects of Islam on the western population but they are certain to include extremist tendencies enforced through extreme violence, total loss of the sense of humor, intolerance, chauvinism, and prenuptial sodomy.
Replacing Hopium with Islam is dividing nations.
On one side, the well-intentioned politico-sentimentalists are politely stuffing all their unused Hopium down the toilet and embracing the evangelists of the new Islamic order. These Islamivangelists are fighting under the banner of freedom and are hell bent building a critical mass of support for Islam through a savant cocktail of religion and urban gangsterism with the firm intention to establish it as a cultural standard. To do this they are dispatching moles and emissaries disguised as refugees to Europe.
The well-intentioned politico-sentimentalists are admitting these ambassadors of Islam into their living room because the politicians who caused the premature death of the retirement scam are now selling the need for “immigrants” to work and pay for our children’s retirement - This fantasy is the direct result of the politician’s own addiction to Hopium. (I believe that it was a banker that first introduced the drug to them during a political party.)
On the other side are the ethnico-puritans gallantly fighting to keep their culture and their Hopium.
And lost somewhere in a cloud of crystal vapor are the no-hopers who prefer Crack to Hopium or Islam.